Thank you for coming by. I've recently been weaving together my wide-ranging experiences in coaching, counselling, mentorship, facilitation and guidance with my ability to reframe, create metaphor and construct narrative to create this simple straightforward offer of an emotional needs audit—a pause for thought, a reflection to inspire and guide you to the next important place in your life.
What is an Emotional Needs Audit? | What does this offer cost?
Each of us is born with innate needs, both physical and emotional. Our physical needs include food, water, warmth, sleep and shelter, and have been well understood for thousands of years. Less understood are our emotional needs, but research of the last several decades has found reasonable agreement in expressing these needs as Safety, Autonomy, Attention, Community, Intimacy, Solitude, Status, Competence and Purpose. When our emotional needs are met in balance, we tend to be happier and to function effectively in all aspects of our life. It is when our needs are unmet or imbalanced that we begin to experience stress, anxiety or depression, or otherwise struggle mentally or emotionally.
Along with our innate needs, nature has blessed us with innate resources to meet those needs; such resources include long-term memory, imagination, a rational mind, empathy and instinct. It is when our resources are damaged in some way that our needs remain naturally unmet, and we seek external ways to meet them, e.g. reliance on chemical substances, food, work, or other people, which while possibly meeting certain needs in the short term are, in the longer term, likely to create an imbalance: an over-meeting of some needs, e.g. status or achievement, and a neglect of others. Learning to utilise our innate resources effectively is key to regaining emotional balance and mental health.
Our innate needs and resources, shown below, are collectively termed the 'human givens'. They are covered in more depth in the introductory article offered by the Human Givens Institute: What are the Human Givens?
An audit is a systematic review or assessment of something important; a financial audit is an assessment of a business; an emotional needs audit is an assessment of self—an MOT for the soul, perhaps. What condition are you in? Are there aspects of your life you need to focus on, to mend, improve, perhaps renew? In committing to an audit of our emotions we are consciously, if momentarily moving from the day-to-day transactional nature of our lives into something more relational. We take time to consider the world around us, the people in our lives, our circumstances, our desires and ambitions, our duties and responsibilities, and ask how these different aspects of life both serve us and are being served by us. An audit will conclude with new insights, and a plan of action for improvement.
I am a coach and counsellor, trained in both person-centred and human givens counselling, currently studying for a full diploma in psychotherapy. I have over thirty years experience of supporting people from many walks of life, including inner-city teenagers excluded from school, newly arrived refugees, recovering drug addicts, school leavers, jobless adults, downtrodden corporate workers, those suffering anxiety or depression, and many simply seeking to make better decisions and to live a more fulfilling life.
Drawing from many disciplines, my unique blend of coaching, counselling and personal facilitation, and my ability to reframe situations, offer useful metaphors, and ask challenging questions has helped my clients adjust their lives toward their desired goals.
This is brief, solutions-oriented work where choices are made and changes implemented by the clients themselves, based on insights gained through our conversation, with only light-touch guidance. You can read more about my work, my values and my journey on my personal website.
An emotional needs audit, with follow up conversation and goal setting will usually take around 90 minutes, but put aside 2-3 hours, as you'll need contemplative time afterwards. The session is charged at £200*. A single session is usually enough for a client to reframe their life and set meaningful short-term targets for change. Follow up sessions of 50 minutes each, at a cost of £100* per session can be booked later if required.
If you're curious but not ready to commit you can reserve a 15-minute introductory session to explore the value further, and get a sense of my approach. These short sessions are currently offered at no cost.*
* Please note these are introductory prices, and subject to change in 2025.
"I recently had the privilege of being guided by Tobias Mayer through an Emotional Needs Audit, and it was an incredibly enlightening experience. When the opportunity arose, I jumped at the chance, sensing that some areas of my life might need attention. Tobias's sensitive and thoughtful facilitation made the process both insightful and deeply personal.
Through his powerful questions and gentle approach, he helped me unpack each area of the audit, revealing one particular aspect of my emotional wellbeing that had been neglected. This revelation has stayed with me, and I now see how overlooking this need has contributed to a general sense of disquiet, even though other areas of my life are well-balanced.
The entire experience was a revelation, and I really recommend it, and Tobias. His skilful and compassionate guidance was exactly what I needed to uncover meaningful insights and take steps toward greater emotional wellbeing." — S, Warwickshire, 2024
"Tobias Mayer is an iconoclast. I've long seen him as a kind of prophetic figure in the fray of conversation about how to be human at work, how to build high performing teams, and how to create effective human centred organisations."
— Daniel Susser, Agility Coach, Writer & Podcaster
"Tobias is a remarkably multifaceted talent. He has the rare quality of being able to effortlessly create and support a safe space, while subtly influencing [clients] to be more open and more innovative in their creative thinking." — S. Miria Jo, interface designer, Los Angeles
"Tobias...beautifully reframed and challenged concepts I thought I knew and understood." — Philiy Lander, Agile Coach
"Tobias is an outstanding speaker and facilitator...very gifted in his ability to be attuned to his audience and add value to diverse groups."
— Alyssa Tool, Assistant General Counsel at Nike
Read more endorsements of my work and approach here.
Forest image: "Come With Me 9", by Ellie Davies, from the Come With Me New Forest installation, 2011
Needs & Resources images: © Human Givens Institute
Page published: 14/11/2024
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